Archive for May 2016

What is EMDR?

EMDR consists of the following processes:

• Evidence-based psychotherapy for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD) treatment of other psychiatric disorders, mental health problems, and somatic symptoms.
• EMDR facilitates the resumption of normal information processing and integration.
• Targets past experience, current triggers, and future potential challenges.
• Results in the alleviation of presenting symptoms
• A decrease or elimination of distress from the disturbing memory,
• Improved view of the self, relief from bodily disturbance
• Resolution of present and future anticipated triggers.

What is TIR? (Traumatic Incident Reduction)

• Rapid method of effectively reducing trauma
• It involves re-experiencing past traumas in a completely safe environment, free of distractions, judgments, or interpretations.
• When something happens that is physically or emotionally painful, one has the option of either confronting it fully and feeling the pain, or trying in some way to block one’s awareness of it.
• Unexamined, unresolved past events tie up our energy and intention.
• Traumatic Incident Reduction provides a safe space and the means to fully examine that which had been blocked.
• A past incident loses its ability to hurt us at the point where we have looked it through and through.
• In the process, we release our resistance and the painful emotion and negative thought patterns contained in that past trauma.

Sometimes we feel life keeps handing us lemons and we want to give up.  This can be an opportunity to change our perspective and grow.  There is an exercise I like to use and have shared with many client’s. When I feel like something is a problem or a mistake it is important to reframe it and turn a negative into a positive.  The exercise is called, “Look for the Lesson and the Gift” and can be found in Marci Shimoff’s book, Happy for No Reason Try it and see what it can do for you.  Soon, it will become second nature and automatically done in your mind.

Look for the Lesson and the Gift 

1. Sit quietly by yourself close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
2. Recall a specific situation that has caused you to feel wronged or to blame others.  Picture the person or people involved, the setting, and what was said or done.
3. Imagine taking several steps back and observing the situation from a distance, as though you were watching a movie on a screen.
4. What part of what happened can you take responsibility for?  Did you ignore signs that should have clued you in that there was a problem?  Did you act in a way that might have provoked the situation?  Did your thoughts or actions escalate the situation?
5. What’s your lesson to learn from what happened? Do you need more patience or better boundaries? Do you need to listen more, say less?
6. Ask yourself: If this is happening for a higher purpose, what would that be? Can you find the gift?
7. Write down the most important thing you can do differently as a result of finding the lesson or the gift.

In my practice I focus on solutions. One of the best things we can do to improve our well being is to have a routine focused on positivity and progress. Today I will give you 5 things you can do in the morning to be happier and thrive.

1. Morning meditation – Every morning I like to meditate to start my day off and clear the cobwebs. This could be walking, sitting, standing, breathing.  There are so many different ways to meditate.  You don’t need to be sitting crosslegged in the lotus position.  I like to listen to music while walking my dog before the sun rises.  I enjoy watching the animals and day come to life while pondering life and the day ahead.  I am able to get centered and that is how I want to start my day.
2. Do something for yourself. – Whether it is to make a special kind of coffee, instagram, make love to your partner do something that makes you feel good.  I have 2 reading rituals I do most mornings, both take less than five minutes.  One is a daily reflection from a book of positive quotes, the other is a deck of cards by Eckhart Tolle.  This deck helps me keep the concepts of The New Earth relevant in my life on a day by day basis.  It makes me feel good and sets a clear intention.
3. Eat a nutritious breakfast filled with nutrients. – I used to eat whatever I wanted and have a cup of strong cold brew which I made from whole beans.  It definitely got me going but I would crash if I didn’t keep drinking it.  Recently I switched to juicing vegetables and fruits in the morning. My mind is clearer and I don’t have that afternoon crash where I am running for another cup.  Yogurt, eggs or healthy cereal could also be a good start to your day.
4. Affirmations – For as long as I can remember I had a negative tape playing in my head, basically telling me I wasn’t good enough.  After reading Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life,  I started reading affirmations every morning or during the day when I was getting down on myself. It was amazing how my internal script changed.  I was a non-believer and naysayer at first.  I thought affirmations were corny and hokey but guess what? They work!
5. Learning to focus on my breathing – I had never paid much attention to my breathing until I started to work at an agency that mandated 45 minutes of breathing every Friday.  I realized that I was a shallow breather and would become even more so when excited or fearful.  I learned to breathe from my diaphragm.  I can say that breathing is a tool that I us daily and helps me regulate my thoughts and emotions.  It is one of the most valuable tools you can give yourself to help with anxiety and panic.

Learning to start your day with a positive routine gives you the power to take on even the most trying times.  If we miss a day it doesn’t mean we need to miss a week. Giving up on your goal because of a set back is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat. Change that tire and get back on the road.

To read some of my other articles go to http://www.yourtango.com/experts/brentberman